Turn Away
by allirequest
Summary: Sometimes, you just can't ignore things, and you just can't turn away from either the past or the future. Kensei-introspective; hints of Kensei/Mashiro.


**Title: **Turn Away

**Author: **Cayt

**Pairing: ** None. Kensei-introspective, hints of Kensei/Mashiro?

**Rating:** PG

**Notes/Warnings:**Um… none, really. Written in present tense, which was actually pretty challenging to keep consistent. Usually, I write in past tense…

**Summary:** Interlude. Sometimes, you just can't ignore things, and you just can't turn away.

**Disclaimer:** Bleach and all characters therein belong to Tite Kubo, the creator, not me. I'm just a poor college student… I have nothing of value, really!

~*~

"_Hey, your collar's undone…"_

"_Heheh, Kensei, you perv…"_

"… _You're even annoying in your sleep."_

~*~

They have to tread carefully wherever they go now; no longer shinigami, and yet not Hollows, they have to be careful not to attract too much attention. Of course, during the first few years, it takes a while to get used to the changes. Flares of reiatsu, unrestrained, can bring down enemies from both sides; they've had to move more frequently than planned, but it works out for the best. Staying in one place too long makes it easier for them to be tracked down.

It would almost be nice, if they weren't on the run from former allies and new enemies for all of eternity. Seeing the world, however, takes on a less exciting note when they're forced to avoid shinigami assigned to the human world, while at the same time trying to make sure that the Hollows milling around don't decide that the new reiryoku they possess isn't too tempting.

It's hard to ignore the Hollows, though. Not only do the Hollows now feel a lot more familiar to them, but it's easier to sense them… and harder for Muguruma Kensei to ignore them.

He was a shinigami, for crying out loud! He had been a captain of the Gotei 13, before this whole mess had happened; just because he now had a Hollow within the dark corners of his mind didn't mean he was no longer responsible for protecting people. No matter what darkness now haunted his soul, there was no way he could just ignore the Hollows. It had been his sworn duty to protect humans and lost souls alike, to send the Hollows back to where they belonged, for so long that it was hard (impossible) to just… turn away.

Whenever Kensei needed to clear his head, he slipped away from the others wordlessly. They all had their different ways of coping with the Hollow within. Rose played slow, introspective music, Hiyori harassed Shinji even more than usual, and Hachi just fell silent, retreating to his room and doing who-knew-what. For Kensei, however, none of that was enough. No, nothing irritated his Hollow more than to watch his shinigami counterpart save lives.

After dispatching the Hollow of the night, Kensei is barely even winded; not a tough opponent, really. Most aren't, anyway, but they at least help him feel like he's doing something, instead of just… wallowing in stagnation. Even though they keep moving, they aren't _doing_ anything, and that's probably the worst part for him. He's never been known for sitting back while others do the work.

As he moves on, he isn't surprised in the least to run into Mashiro a few rooftops over, sitting cross-legged and pouting at him.

"You aren't supposed to go out alone, you know," she reminds him, and he scowls. Of course he knows…

"I don't need permission," he says instead, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. His lieutenant—ex-lieutenant?—hadn't really changed much. She was still petty and childish, failing to take things seriously. Even now, the sleeves of her shirt hung past her hands as she rose, swinging through the air haphazardly as she flung her hands to the sky.

"But Kenseeeeeeeei," she whines, and he can tell she's close to stamping her foot. "What if something happened? What if you needed help, and no one knew where you were?"

As a shinigami and a (former) captain, there is not much out there that can really hurt him… and if all else fails, he's also got that damn trump card—his Hollow side. He's not really worried about these excursions, and he knows that while the others worry, they also know that they understand. Of course, he's grateful, not that he'll ever say that out loud.

"Not gonna happen," he replies, sighing loudly. After all, he knows as well as she does that she follows him every time; even if he somehow got into a jam, she knows enough by now to run and get help. He hopes. Then again, knowing her, she's just as likely to jump into the fray with him, still following him, come what may.

Mashiro doesn't say anything, instead rocking side to side slightly, weight balanced on her heels as she purses her lips. Her eyes are trained on the sky, as if she is waiting for something, and he frowns.

"Stop acting like that," he complains, though it still sounds like an order—one she has yet to obey. She doesn't, of course, only pouts then smiles.

"But Kensei, aren't you gonna take care of that Hollow, too?" Indeed, even as she speaks, he senses the new presence as well, turning to the side. His hand lands on the hilt of his zanpakutō in anticipation, even as he turns to her.

"Yeah, fine," he says, then pauses. He sighs, then mutters, "Come on, if you're coming."

That's the closest she's ever going to receive to an actual invitation—not that she's ever been holding her breath on getting one from Muguruma Kensei. There's no thinking about it, of course. By the time he's taken his first flash-step, she's already a block ahead of him.

~*~

The Hollow proves no challenge, as usual, but Kensei can't help but frown anyway. Mashiro had arrived ahead of him, and for some reason, decided to use her Hollow form to playfully dispatch the monster. It had been bigger than was the norm, which meant that this one had probably claimed a few shinigami as victims as well as unfortunate Whole souls.

Now, however, Kensei watches as Mashiro pauses, seeming to hesitate. He tenses, foolishly. Mashiro was the one to master her Hollow the quickest out of all of them; she never had to undergo the training the rest of them had needed, something that bothers him. Why would his lieutenant be so in tune with her inner Hollow right from the start? It's not something that a shinigami should have been able to do, but then, she's always been a little different.

Despite that, it still bothers him. Looking up at the taller, Hollowfied version of his lackadaisical lieutenant causes a reaction within him that he can never quite classify, except that… it bothers him.

"Knock it off," he snaps now, scowling at her. She cocks her head to the side inquisitively, and he informs her, "That's going to bring more Hollows out. Stop it, or the others will come looking."

"No fun," she pouts, letting her mask fall away. He doesn't even bother replying, instead turning to head back to the latest hideout. Mashiro falls into step a moment later, hands interlaced behind her back and striding steps playfully long. "Hey, Kensei?"

"What?" He asks, unsure. For once, her tone isn't lilting and dreamy, instead quiet and almost… serious. He's only heard her talk this way a few times before, mostly when no one else was around and when even she couldn't escape the seriousness of something.

"Where do you think we would be, if we weren't here?" The question takes him aback momentarily, and he furrows his brow in thought.

"Back there," he finally said, refusing to dwell too deeply in those thoughts. For all that they still haunt him, these thoughts cannot be allowed a foothold in the tangible world, lest they become heavier to bear.

"Do you think someone else would be here, where we are, instead?" Mashiro asks, and he shrugs.

"Probably," he says frankly. "There's no way to tell, though, so just stop thinking about it."

Despite his rough tone, Mashiro knows well enough to hear the attempt behind it, and grins at him before skipping ahead of him.

"Come on, Kenseeeeeeei!" She calls. "I'm tiiiiiiired!"

"No one asked you to come with me, you know," he reminds her, and she only giggles, dancing through the night to a beat no one else can hear. Kensei drifts behind her, scowling at her antics. The serious, thoughtful nature of the moment has gone now, carried by the faint breeze, and he isn't quite sure what to think. Her behavior always confounds him… just something else to avoid thinking about next time, when he needs to get away from his life.

~*~

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